Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Bring me that man meat
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
