I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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