this boner is exhausting
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
