Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
