Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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