Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
