You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
