i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
