Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize