i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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