just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want her autograph on my taint
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
