Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
