just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
