Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
