I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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