i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
