Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
