ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She bit a glass in half.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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