we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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