just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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