I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
