He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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