He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
