oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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