holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So much Jack, so little girl.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
