Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
