no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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