I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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