Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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