good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
