it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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