If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
