You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My ass is underappreciated
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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