I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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