just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
