It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
