You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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