Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
