Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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