scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
