: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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