we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
