Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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