I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i've created a new STD.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
