Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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