so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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