I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
jump out the window naked night went bad
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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