i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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