Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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