And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
