My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
