My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
