we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
