i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
