Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
