Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this will be a night to untag.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize