My sheets look like a crime scene.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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