Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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