Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
