then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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