I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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